Nearly all of us have attracted them into our lives at some stage. But just how can you stop attracting negative people ?
Maybe you are unfortunate enough to still have negative people in your life. Are you just unlucky when this happens ? They do say that ‘like attracts like’ so is it something that you are specifically doing to attract them and, if so, is there anything that you can do to prevent this happening in the future ?
Of course some people wallow in negativity and are happy to surround themselves with it. However, after a while, negativity becomes very draining. Furthermore, life just seems a whole lot better when we surround ourselves with positivity.
The law of attraction
Much has been written and said about the law of attraction and its uses in helping us obtain a better way of life. What is less publicized is the fact that the law of attraction can just as easily work against us – when our focus is in the wrong direction.
It has been said that if your attention, focus, and energy is directed towards the negative aspects of people in your life, then your focus will bring you more of the same.
So is it just a case of changing what I think about then ?
Well that would be a start but, for most people, that ‘simple’ change of focus is not straightforward as it may seem. Some people are so ingrained on focusing on the wrong things that to change their way of thinking takes a great deal of effort.
To see real change, with the law of attraction, you must make vibrational changes within you. Merely thinking about change is not enough. Thoughts must change your feelings – and only then will you see a change in circumstances.
It is vibrational negativity that is being attracted to us but this vibrational negativity does start with our thoughts.
I still don’t get how my vibration as got anything to do with anybody elses ?
Think of a musical tuning fork. If you hit it on a hard surface it will start vibrating at a certain pitch. If you move that tuning fork near to a guitar, a piano, or another tuning fork, then whatever note is a match for the tuning fork will start vibrating – without you even having to touch it.
The same thing happens with the vibrations in our bodies. If we are resonating at a certain pitch, be that positive or negative, then whoever is near us at the time is likely to pick up on our positive or negative vibration. That is why we say that we “get a good vibe” from one person or “get a bad vibe” from another person.
So, as well as enjoying somebody’s company if you are both in a good mood, you can actually enjoy somebody’s company if you’re both in a bad mood.
How do you feel ?
The best way to tell if you are in a vibrational match with somebody is by focusing on how you feel.
If you meet someone who is resonating at a lower vibration than yours, this can potentially drag you down to that person’s level – even if you started off in a good mood.
It can actually work the other way round as well – where you are feeling a bit low and you meet up with somebody who is vibrating on a high frequency. In this case, you may feel that the other person is being too ‘hyper’.
In both instances, nobody is right and nobody is wrong. It is just a case that, on this particular day, your frequencies are not aligned.
How you feel about being with someone is a reflection on the vibrational match you have with them. If the vibrational match is too wide apart then the meeting is an unlikely to go well and there is a potential for disagreement and even argument.
Let’s look at two short videos to better understand why negative people (very often complainers) behave the way they do.
When people complain they are focusing on the negative
People complain and are being negative to avoid taking action
For whatever reason, people avoid taking action in many areas of their lives. They will often put off doing something and then find an excuse to complain, simply to justify why they have procrastinated.
Turning negative into positive
Very often when we are speaking to a negative person they are not even conscious of how negative they’re being. If they are being negative, they are likely to be talking about a past advent which is not gone as well as expected, or a future even which they are ‘guessing’ will not go well.
The best thing you can do is to bring them into the present moment. By taking control of the conversation, even for just 15 seconds, your stopping them from thinking about the past or the future and they have to concentrate on the ‘now’.
Once you have done that, you can take the second step by converting their negative thoughts into positive ones.
The easiest way to do this is to ask them one of the following questions :
- How would you like xyz to be different ?
- If xyz is what you don’t want, then in an ideal world what do you want ?
- What are the best three things that could happen about the xyz situation – if we were able to implement them right now ?
By switching the focus from a negative conversation to something more positive, their vibrations will rise to the levels yours are at.
Of course, with a really negative person, it is going to be difficult to suddenly change them from a doom and gloom merchant to someone who is a ‘high-fiving’ everyone in the coffee shop. However, you might just be able to deflect them enough to make the conversation little more bearable.
Remember from our knowledge of the law of attraction : you attract into your life what you predominantly think about. Therefore, if you can get these negative people to start to change their thought processes then this should help them experience more positive outcomes.
Don’t let them drag you down to their level
Whilst it may seem painful to try to keep putting a positive spin on the conversation, in the long run you will not be helping yourself, or them, if you simply keep agreeing with their negativity.
If you do go along with what they’re saying (just for the quiet life), you will merely be feeding their negativity. More importantly, you will be lowering your own vibration which will attract more negativity into your life.
How to stop attracting negative people into your life
There are simply two steps to this process :
- Make a conscious decision today that you are going to maintain a higher vibration
- Decide that you will stop feeding other people’s negative talk
What you will find is if you keep to the two steps listed above negative people will be repelled from you. They will see you as being ‘sickly sweet’ and someone who just ‘shines radiant light on everyone and everything’. Of course you’re not – it’s just their perception.
They will eventually be attracted to somebody else up who is closer to their vibrational match. Meanwhile, you will find that you will start attracting more people on a higher vibrational match (i.e. have a more positive outlook).
You will end up having much happier conversations with people and your positivity will lead to more positive outcomes in your life. That is the law of attraction.
But what if the negative person is someone I don’t want to lose ?
Well here are 8 practical tips you can use, to change their mindset (adapted from pickthebrain.com) :
- Acknowledge that you can’t erase another persons negative thoughts completely (it’s hard enough trying to erase our own negative thoughts).
- Explain to your friend / family member that they are responsible for what goes on in between their ears. Get them to become more conscious of when they are talking and thinking negatively. Then, when they catch themselves in a bad frame of mind, to simply say “I choose to think positively now”.
- Tell them that talking negatively to others (including you !!) is not getting things off their chest, it’s just feeding the negativity and making them feel bad. In turn, it is just attracting more negative circumstances.
- Ask them if there are any triggers that turn them into this ‘negative monster’.
- It might seem obvious, but turn the conversation into something more positive.
- Look at the bigger picture with them. Negative people often want to make mountains out of mole-hills. Why ? Because the ‘bigger picture’ actually isn’t that bad. Therefore, they focus on the niggly little things, but ‘blow them up’. They are alive and breathing – that’s all you really need. Everything else follows from that.
- Get them to look forward to the good things that are coming up in their lives (even if it’s only a nice meal they’re planning to eat later on). This will raise their vibration (as mentioned above). In addition, get them to list the positive things in their life each morning. It’ll start them off each day in the right frame of mind.
- Acknowledge progress with them. Tell them that they are becoming more positive (assuming they are), and that this is actually making them much more fun to be with.
What if that doesn’t work ?
You have to make a decision whether you want this negative person to remain in your life – especially the way they are currently behaving.
If this person is a friend, then you need to consider if you can breathe positivity into their lives, as described above. If you can’t, then you need to question if this is the right type a friend for you.
If the person is a member of your family, then it is perhaps not so appropriate just to drift apart, or shut them out of your life completely. In this case, you might want to have a close conversation with them telling them how their negative mindset is not only bringing themselves down but will ultimately affect your life.
By all means direct that friend or family member towards this website. There are plenty of articles designed to turn people’s negative mindsets into positive wants.
Gabrielle Bernstein’s take
We have another short video, from professional speaker and author, Gabrielle Bernstein. She has an interesting take on how to handle negative people, which she picked up from Dr. Christiane Northrup :
Is this likely to work longer term ? We’re not convinced. However, some may want to try this technique.
It is easy to fall into the trap of having a negative mindset. It happens to most people at some stage of their life. However, no successful person has a negative mindset, and if you’re attracting negative people then this WILL impact on your success.
If you want to be successful, then you must rid yourself of a negative mindset and change the people you associate with if it is they who have the negative mindset.
The law of attraction is a law, just like gravity. It works whether we like it or not. It can work for you or it can work against you. The choice really is yours.
We hope that you found “How Can I Stop Attracting Negative People ?” useful. Please feel free to comment below and share this article using the social media links at the bottom of the page.
Image credits : Ambro (Thumbs down woman)/ Stuart Miles (Woman on phone)/rattigon (black & yellow tie figures). All at FreeDigitalPhotos.net