Most people want to know how to have a better life. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who don’t improve their lives to any great extent as the years roll by. Many are faced with divorce, increasing the poor health, and both financial and time constraints. These are things that we all have to face and deal with as just being ‘part of life’.
The key to improving our lives is :
- understanding our perception of what we are faced with (are things really that bad ?), and
- understanding our attitude towards the circumstances in our life
Do you REALLY need a better life…. or just a better perception of it ?
There was a guy who had been working in an office for 30 years. He hadn’t progressed far in this company, but he’d always worked hard and managed to save a little bit of money each month. He’d always owned second-hand cars, but dreamed of one day buying a brand new one.
After saving up for many years, he finally had enough money and he bought his first ever brand new car, which was a $25,000 Honda Accord coupe. He was absolutely delighted, very proud of himself, and told everyone about it.
There was another guy, in the same city, who had been a successful trader all of his life. He was accustomed to owning Lamborghini’s and he had a wife and 3 young children. Despite his successful life-style he ended up divorcing his wife after a bitter legal battle.
Most of his wealth went in legal costs and paying off his wife. He was left with $25,000 and ended up buying a Honda Accord coupe. To him this was a major set-back and he was ashamed to tell people what his new car was.
Both of these guys ended up with exactly the same car (even the same color), but had very different perceptions of it.
Sometimes it’s just our perception of our life that needs to change. People who use personal development strategies do tend to see more success and they certainly have a better outlook on life. If you’re reading this, then you are likely to be in that positive category.
14 Tips for Having a Better Life
So whether you are looking for a better social life, better relationships (at home or in work), or just looking to be a lot happier in your personal life, the following tips are a great place to start.
1. Think positive
We all have negative thoughts at some point. Where you are today is in fact the sum total of all of your previous thoughts. And, it follows, what you were thinking yesterday, today, and tomorrow will have a major factor on where your life leads to in the future.
So it is vital that we are aware of our thought patterns and, if we catch ourselves being negative, we must immediately turn those negative thoughts into positive ones. Initially, this will seem like hard work. However, being conscious of our thoughts is one of the keys to success.
If…… WHEN…… You find yourself having a negative thought, ask yourself what is good about the thing that you are thinking about. It should be almost impossible not to have at least one positive thing to say about it.
- You hate your current job and you dread going to work
- You constantly tell yourself how much you hate it
- You find the job boring
- You do not get on with your boss
- You feel that your work is taking over your life
This might seem like an extreme example but many really negative people do feel this way about their jobs. So how can you feel positive about this ?
As soon as you hear yourself say these things think about the potential positives of the situation :
- You actually have a job – Millions of people don’t
- The job pays you a regular salary
- You use this salary to buy food and pay for your accommodation
- Maybe the salary has enabled you to set up a home with your partner and this has led to you having a child, who you absolutely adore
- You may have made friends at your workplace who you socialize with outside of work
As soon as you catch yourself on Monday morning saying :
“Oh no not the start of another week I really hate my job……..”
Immediately add-on to it :
“……..but I guess that I am fortunate enough to have a job which pays me enough money to pay my bills. The salary enabled me to socialize and that lead me to meeting John and now we have a lovely daughter. And I have made some great friends at work.”
Of course, we are not saying that the negatives about your job are magically going to disappear. They will still be there, but by re-framing the situation some of the negatives (which for most people will be vastly exaggerated) will seem less of an issue.
If you can consciously do this for a period of a week then your brain will start to change its patterns of thinking and you will start to become more positive in your outlook.
Tips for getting the negativity out of your head
When you have negative thoughts, write these negative thoughts down in a journal and come up with a list of 5 positives attached to the same situation (similar to the example above). Then look back in your journal every week to see the progress you are making and how you are able to crush the negative thoughts (it will get easier).
Write the negative thoughts down onto a sheet of paper (to get them out of your head). Then :
- Leave it for an hour
- Return to the sheet of paper and rip it into little pieces
- Throw the pieces of paper in the bin and say, “These thoughts don’t serve me and I’m getting rid of them forever”
If you find yourself having the same thoughts at a later date then simply repeat the process.
Here are some more tips from Tony Robbins :
The Power of Positive thinking by Tony Robbins
2. Don’t criticize yourself
If you are not seeing as much success in your life as you would like, it is easy to beat yourself up. This is a downward spiral which needs to be broken before you go too far.
Think about some of the things you might say to yourself with a negative mindset :
- I’m such a stupid idiot for xyz
- I’m useless
- I’m an embarrassment
- Why do I always get things wrong ?
Would you really let anyone else be so openly critical of you ? The answer should be “no”.
As with point (1) above, the key here is to be aware that you are being critical of yourself. Very often this “negative chatter” will be going on in your head and you don’t even realize it. If you become consciously aware that you are beating yourself up then, like the previous point, turn the negative self-talk around by adding something positive about the situation.
You might say to yourself :
“I’m so weak for not having the guts to ask Susan out on a date.”
If you catch yourself saying something like this then immediately add to it :
“….. But at least I’ve identified someone who I like and that I clearly have a bit of a confidence issue. I only need to learn a little bit about self-confidence then I could make this relationship work.”
We are not expecting you to suddenly change your life around overnight or to start asking loads of potential partners out by next weekend. The key point here is to be aware of you self-criticisms and to just add a positive spin on the negative situation.
Use the “Tips for getting the negativity out of your head” mentioned above and you WILL see improvements.
3. Be proud of you
You are unique. You are different. Everyone’s different. Learn to love and accept yourself as you are. You are not going to please everyone.
The opinions of others really don’t matter. Someone probably said something silly about you when you were a child. Does what they said back then really matters to you now ? Can you even remember it ? Of course not.
We are not suggesting that you ignore criticism – some of it may be valid and something that you can learn from. The key is not to be hurt by such criticism.
Your life is about YOU. You are following a path and you should do this with confidence. You do not have to live up to other people standards, just live up to your own.
As long as you are not harming others and not doing anything illegal then your choices are YOUR CHOICES.
4. Be creative with your problem solving
No amount of positive thinking will rid you of your problems. We all have them and that is part of life. In fact, the vast majority of problems do have a solution and many good things can come out of problems – you just need to be open-minded to see the benefits.
Sometimes you need to take risks to get round problems. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as risk taking can lead you to new experiences and new people – so treat problems with open arms.
5. Your job should be one of the ‘loves of your life’
If you don’t love your job then you really should think about changing it. We spend :
- a third of the working week in a job
- a third of our time asleep
- a third of our time either eating, preparing to go to work, or watching TV
With so much time devoted to our work you’ve got to find something that you love doing.
Of course, it’s not an ideal world and many people dislike her job. They see it as just a means of earning money to be able to support themselves and their family. However, this is negative thinking and will not help you to have a better life. If you cannot see the positives in your current role (see examples in point 1 above), then you really must look for something else – for the sake of your health.
Even if it’s not possible for you to immediately step into the job of your dreams, think about what you can do to get yourself a little closer to that ‘dream career’ :
- Can you educate yourself or start taking exams for the job that you want ?
- Is there any voluntary work that you could do in this field to get you more experience ?
- Can you start preparing your CV/resume and also start practicing job interview skills ?
- You can certainly start using some visualization techniques whereby you see yourself :
- applying for the job
- giving a brilliant interview
- in your first day at work
Again, look at this with a positive mindset rather than the mindset of :
“There’s no point even thinking about this because it’s just not going to happen.”
If you think like that then it is pretty much guaranteed that it isn’t going to happen……EVER !!! Is your choice.
Even if nothing comes of this, at least it will give you a little boost knowing that you are in control, you are taking action, and you are getting closer to that dream job.
6. Improve your circle of friends
Consider the people you associate with. Do they drag you down with criticisms and negativity ? If someone else is being negative this can make your life miserable as you are constantly listening to their moans and groans.
We have an article on how you can you stop attracting negative people and what you can do if they are in your life.
Maybe you don’t have negative people in your life; but you are surrounded by people who have no real ambition. If so, consider taking this free personality test so at least you can find out more about YOU and what makes you tick – then you can tell if you are mixing with the right crowd.
Now we’re not suggesting that you should immediately dump all of your existing friends and family. However, there are places you can associate with positive people; or at least communicate with people who have the same interests as you.
There are many online forums and Facebook groups for all sorts of interests and it might be that you see improvements in your life by simply communicating with people who have similar interests to you.
- Consider using Google and put in the search box : “[YOUR INTEREST] forums”
- or go to Facebook and type in the search box “[YOUR INTEREST]”.
You’ll be amazed at the amount of forums, Facebook groups / pages which are dedicated to whatever it is you are interested in.
- Go to YouTube and type in the search box “[YOUR INTEREST]”.
- See what films / documentaries have been posted and start communicating with others in the comments section of those videos.
All of these can lead to lasting friendships.
7. Take up a new hobby or interest
Is there anything that you have ever wanted to do but never got round to it ?
It is now easier than ever to take up a hobby. The Internet has enabled us to research for new hobbies and expand our knowledge. We go into this in a lot more detail in our article Why am I bored ?
8. Look after yourself
Inactivity can ultimately lead to weaknesses within your body. Take regular exercise, have a sauna or buy yourself some new clothes. If you look good you will feel much better.
Don’t forget to exercise your mind regularly as well. Your brain also needs stimulating to make it feel good. So do something that’s going to challenge you, even if it is outside of your comfort zone. There is nothing more satisfying than achieving something that you didn’t think you would be able to.
9. Help others
Another way to feel good (and ‘feeling good’ is ultimately going to improve your life), is to offer to help other people less fortunate than yourself. This can be something simple like offering to do the shopping for an elderly friend or relative. Or maybe consider something a bit more demanding like :
- Helping out with a local voluntary group
- Joining a charity group
- Helping out at a local school or village fate
When you interact with those less fortunate than yourself, or with those who could really use an extra pair of hands, then their gratitude will rub off onto you and you’ll begin to appreciate how good your life actually is. By helping others, it will fill you with a sense of self-worth and also create a more positive outlook within you.
10. Looking inwardly
Many of today’s external problems are not actually major problems at all. We just perceive them to be much bigger than they actually are. Remember also, that many of today’s problems actually originate from within ourselves. Sometimes we just need to hit the ‘re-set switch’ in our minds.
Consider taking meditative breaks during the day. This can be as simple as watching a relaxation video or listening to a guided meditation CD. Either way, the idea is to completely relax your mind.
People with a calm and relaxed mind perceive their life to be much better than those who are continuously stressed. Unfortunately, for many people, they are not able to see the solutions to a better life because they are too stressed out or have a head full of poor programming (baggage).
A good relaxation technique may only take 15 minutes but, done regularly, it can make all the difference to your life.
11. Just have fun
In today’s world is easy to get sucked into the doom and gloom of what’s going on. Don’t watch the news, as is just full of negativity. Instead, watch more comedy programs. If there are none on TV then just go to YouTube and search some of the old comedy programs.
12. Back to nature
Spend more time in nature. Get out to your local countryside, or near the ocean, or just your city park or green space. This can have an uplifting effect on your life. Even if it’s only for short period of time, this will do you good.
13 Get a pet
Pets are really great for our health and well-being. Stroking a cat can reduce your stress levels and most dogs give us unconditional love. If you do not believe what joy pets can bring just look at some of the videos on YouTube.
14. Start your day right
In our article setting yourself up for success we explain what you can do in the first 25 minutes of the day, which can really kick-start your morning. Take time to go through the article and see how many of the recommendations you can introduce into your life. It will make a difference.
We hope that you have read this article with a positive mindset. If you have, then you should at least go and try some of the things suggested. We appreciate that you are unlikely to be able to introduce everything into your life with immediate effect. There will be outside circumstances which means that the introduction of some of these tips are not practical at this time for you.
The key thing is to do something (however small) to help you get a better quality of life. Most often, it is just a series of little changes which can add up to a big result.
Hopefully, you are already doing many of things that we have mentioned here and, if that is the case, then you should already be on the way to having a great life. Now consider if there are others in your life who are not having such a good time at the moment. Maybe they could benefit from reading this. With that in mind, please feel free to share this information using the social media buttons below.
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