One of the most common questions we receive at Successful Personal Growth is, “Why can’t I be successful ?”.
The thing is you can. EVERYONE can be successful but of course it’s important to remember that we shouldn’t compare ourselves with others.
However, if you are struggling to find ‘success’ (as you would define it), then you need to be conscious of three things :
- Where you are on the emotional scale of life
- What it is about YOU that could be the hand-break which is slowing your progress
- How ‘outside influencers’ could be holding you back – even if you don’t realize it
Where are you on the emotional scale of life ?
The first thing to establish is where you are now.
Are you on an upward spiral to success, or a downward one to failure ? And we’re not talking about about how much money you’ve got, how big your car is, or how many girlfriends / boyfriends you’ve been out with the past 5 years.
We’re going to talk about ’emotional success’. For it is that which is the starting point for how successful you will be in the future.
Where are you on the following scale ?
• Joy / Empowerment / Freedom / Love / Appreciation
• Positive Expectation / Belief
• Frustration / Irritation / Impatience
• Hatred / Rage
• Insecurity / Guilt / Unworthiness
• Fear / Grief / Depression / Powerless / Victim
Gage where you are now by answering the following questions :
- Where do you see yourself on the above scale ?
- What are your innermost feelings…MOST OF THE TIME ?
- Where were you on this scale 12 months ago ?
- What about 5 years ago ?
- Where do you think you will be on the above scale 3 years from now ?
- What direction are you heading (upwards or downwards) ?
Of course, you are likely to feel several of these emotions over a period of time. To be successful however, you MUST get your emotional state in the top five of this table (top 3 to be REALLY successful). Put simply, the higher up you go the more successful you WILL BE, and the lower down you are the less successful you will be. There is just no getting round this equation. It has to be this way.
But I’m just stuck in a rut !
We have written an article for those people who feel they are stuck in a rut. You can break out of it, but you will have to put in some effort…. The question you must ask yourself is “How badly do you want to break out of it ?”
For some people their emotional blockages are a little more deep rooted. In those cases we would highly recommend Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or Tapping).
Have you got a successful mindset ?
Take a look at these 14 areas. How many can you tick off on the ‘successful’ side and how many from the ‘unsuccessful’ side (be honest !!).
- Compliment other people
- Willing to forgive others
- Accept responsibility for their failures
- Keep a journal to learn from their past actions
- Want others to succeed
- Know that life is a never ending learning experience
- Set goals and life plans and know what they want
- Share information and knowledge with others
- Embrace change as positive development
- Read ‘mind expanding material’ every day
- Have a sense of gratitude
- Talk with people
- Keep a to-do list and are focused
- Are positive and radiate love and joy
- Critical of other people
- Hold a grudge against others
- Ready to blame others for their failures
- View journals as a waste of time
- Secretly want others to fail
- Think they know it all and that education is for kids
- Never set goals or life plans and don’t know what they want
- Keep information to themselves
- ‘Fear’ that change is a bad thing
- Watch ‘Trash TV’ every day
- Have a sense of entitlement
- Talk about people
- Take each day as it comes
- Are negative & radiate bitterness and anger
So if you want to be successful, you need to shift your mindset to the left list. The choice is yours.
How outside ‘influencers’ could be holding you back
When you are on the path to success, then you are going to come up against some severe obstacles :
- Friends (not wanting you to ‘change’ and trying to ‘put you off’)
- Relatives (not wanting you to change and trying to ‘put you off)
- Pessimists (who just think the world is conspiring against them, and believe that it will conspire against you too)
- Society (who tell you that only the ‘lucky few’ can climb to the top)
- Guilt (the thought that you might be leaving your ‘roots’ behind)
- Fear (your own poor programming telling you that you’re not good enough, you’re not lucky enough, you don’t live in the right town, or you didn’t get the right education)
Of course, friends and relatives can also help you on your path. However, if you really want success, then you are going to have to break through some potential negativity. That is inevitable.
The thing to be mindful of is that consciously you might not be aware of the issues suggested above actually taking place.
What can I do about this ?
Put simply you can’t have negative people blocking your path to success, and it’s up to you if you keep the path blocked or clear it. Our article “How can I Stop Attracting Negative People ?” is a good starting point to raise your awareness of this issue.
Of course, you are not going to change your life overnight. But if you take the above areas as a starting point, then it will at least have you pointing in the right direction.
There is plenty more information on this site to push you even further in the right direction. We would urge you to sign up for our email updates. These are simple notifications, telling you when we’ve added another article to our personal growth library.
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